Post by BomberJake on Jun 10, 2006 22:44:39 GMT -5
1:00PM - Hair Salon
Sitting in a chair of the salon, BomberJake spins and spins as he waits for Tina Latinas stylist to finish up with her hair. The procedure seems like it takes forever and Jake is bored out of his mind.
[ BomberJake | "What could be taking her so long? I could really use a better magazine than these damn home decor ones for middle-aged mothers and--oh, shit." ]
Out of the corner of his eye, Jake can see what appears to be a monster! Jake pushes on the ground, hoping that spinning will be his getaway, but it's no use! He just keeps going in circles! Gaining momentum, BomberJake soon flies off of the chair, hitting a shelf full of shampoos and conditioners before falling on the floor with his eyes closed.
[ Tina Latina | "Jake! Jake, are you okay?" ]
Slowly, BomberJake looks up to see if the monster is gone. As his eyes refocus and he loses his dizziness, Jake realizes that the monster is Tina Latinas larger-than-life hairdo--she looks like Marge Simpson with a beehive on her head.
[ Tina Latina | "You like it?" ]
Still somewhat phased by there not being any monster, Jake is overwhelmed by this change in hairstyle.
[ BomberJake | "Um, um, um… y'know, I REALLY feel like preparing for my match right now! I'll get in shape so bad, Sean Rage won't know what hit him!" ]
[ Tina Latina | "But you can't do that now! I have to sit here and dry my hair, but we can still go over it." ]
Tina smiles, struts over to the seat, and places some massive machinery around her erect hair. It's a miracle that the machine doesn't make her go deaf.
[ Tina Latina | "Being in that fatal four way at One Ring, if Sean Rage were to beat you in this match, that would look really bad for you." ]
[ BomberJake | "No kidding!" ]
[ Tina Latina | "But just remember, he's the last obstacle in your way before your title shot at One Ring. He's the only person standing between you and the Pay-Per-View." ]
[ BomberJake | "Yeah! There's just this one last hurdle before I compete for the OTB World Heavyweight Title! Though I still wish I knew who I'm competing against at One Ring." ]
[ Tina Latina | "You'll find out in due time. Don't sweat it--keep in mind, you're the wrestler of the week, AND you WON the match of the week!" ]
All of a sudden, a man bursts through the front door of the salon with a large paper in his hands. It's Charlie the cameraman! Charlie rushes over to Jake and Tina with an excited look on his face.
[ Charlie | "Jake! Jake! I've devised this--oh my God, you look like a friggin' Troll!!!" ]
It is easy to see that Charlie is referring to Tina Latina's outrageous hairdo. Tina gives Charlie a dirty look and shoots daggers at him, but Charlie shrugs it off and returns back to BomberJake.
[ Charlie | "Jake, I've been watching OTB wrestling since you made the switch from the WWA, and I've made a blueprint of who your opponents can be at One Ring!" ]
Charlie shoves a crapload of womens magazines off of a table and lays the blueprint onto it.
[ Charlie | "Look--Deamon Cohln and 'Showtime' T-Neff have to work together to beat The GameChangers if they want to advance into this fatal four way. Otherwise, The GameChangers will get those two spots." ]
[ BomberJake | "Uh huh, I see…" ]
[ Tina Latina | "Cut to the chase, poindexter!" ]
[ Charlie | "Now, The GameChangers haven't had a particularly great run so far--they didn't become the tag champs last week, which is a bad sign. Though they may be able to work together in this tag match this week, I dunno how well they'd work against each other in the World Heavyweight Title match. They could double-team, but if it came down to those two, one of them would have to win… but this scenario is COMPLETELY backwards with Deamon and T-Neff." ]
Charlie points to a part of the blueprint featuring Deamon Cohln and 'Showtime' T-Neff.
[ Charlie | "I'm doubtful that Deamon and T-Neff will settle their differences and use teamwork this week, but if they manage to pick up the win, they'll have no problem tearing themselves to shreds at One Ring." ]
[ BomberJake | "So, if The GameChangers win, teamwork might just be out the window at One Ring, but if Cohln and T-Neff win, it's a real free for all." ]
[ Charlie | "Precisely." ]
Jake puts his head down and thinks.
[ BomberJake | "When my match against Sean happens, I'll know two of my three opponents at One Ring." ]
[ Charlie | "You sure will! And then you have to wait for the final match of the night to finish--the six man battle royale!" ]
The blueprint opens up even further to show the six contestants of the battle royale.
[ Charlie | "The Bman versus Corey Perfect versus Deshaun Smith versus Drago versus Saul Hudsen versus Tuffy. Deshaun held is own last week, Saul Hudsen's probably looking for revenge after you pinned him at Vendetta, and the rest are debuting this week." ]
[ Tina Latina | "So we really don't know much about them." ]
[ Charlie | "Except that three of 'em are bigger than Jake, Bman's smaller than Jake, and Drago's about Jake's size. So is Tuffy, but he's a good four inches taller." ]
BomberJake gets up from his chair and paces around the room, thinking to himself.
[ BomberJake | "If Cohln and T-Neff win, and if Saul Hudsen wins, it's practically a rematch from last week." ]
[ Tina Latina | "But the fans don't want a rematch! They wanna see how many asses Jake can tap--I mean, whoop." * giggles * ]
Charlie and Jake look at each other, not sure what to think of that.
[ BomberJake | "Who's already cut a promo?" ]
[ Tina Latina | "Deamon's shown one, and both the Bman and Tuffy have for the battle royale." ]
[ BomberJake | "Hmmm… Tuffy's been to the top of the WWA before, but he hasn't faced me. What about the other four guys in that match?" ]
[ Tina Latina | "If they don't show up, looks like it'll be one short battle royale!" ]
[ BomberJake | "No wildcard, that's a shame. I would've thought Deshaun Smith would want a piece of me after ending his WWA Canadian Title reign." ]
[ Tina Latina | "This isn't about Deshaun Smith or Deamon Cohln or Tuffy or anyone else! This is about Sean Rage--you should REALLY focus on him. Don't get ahead of yourself, Jake. You'll find out who you'll face at One Ring soon enough." ]
[ BomberJake | "Ah, you're right… sorry Charlie, but thanks anyways." ]
Jake folds up the blueprint and hands it to Charlie, who looks visibly upset.
[ Charlie | "But this is for you, Jake. I don't need it." ]
[ BomberJake | "And I don't need it either--I'm not facing any of those guys this week." ]
[ Charlie | "What happened to bros before hoes?" ]
[ Tina Latina | "Hey!" ]
Tina Latina looks pissed off at Charlies remark, and though she isn't standing, she is still able to tap her foot on the ground.
[ BomberJake | "Whoa, whoa, whoa, ixnay on the os-bray efore-bay oes-hay." ]
[ Charlie | "And what happened to bachelors to the rapture?" ]
[ Tina Latina | "What?!" ]
[ BomberJake | "Dude! Ixnay on the achelors-bay to the apture-ray." ]
[ Charlie | "What happened to the carefree BomberJake? The one that did burnouts and donuts and wrote his name in skidmarks. The one that was always hopped up on chocolate bars and Churros. The one that didn't care if he was facing a rookie named Sean Rage or a veteran named Capsule James--what happened to that Jake? What happened to you?" ]
Charlie snatches his blueprint and storms out of the salon, taking the time to knock several items over on his way out.
[ Tina Latina | "Oh, don't listen to him!" ]
[ BomberJake | "He does seem to be a bit off his rocker. Just 'cause I don't get hopped up on Churros every weekend doesn't change who I am. I have more important things to think about, like Sean Rage." ]
[ Tina Latina | "And me." ]
[ BomberJake | "…yes, and you, but I'm not wrestling you this week. Sean Rage may have won in his debut, but he certainly won't continue that winning streak at this Monday Nights Vendetta! So bring your Kick of Rage! But don't expect not to get kicked in the gut, 'cause once I have you hunched over, it's time for The BOOM!" ]
The scene fades out to Tina trying to pull this machinery off of her hair.
[ Tina Latina | "I think it's magnetizing!" ]
Sitting in a chair of the salon, BomberJake spins and spins as he waits for Tina Latinas stylist to finish up with her hair. The procedure seems like it takes forever and Jake is bored out of his mind.
[ BomberJake | "What could be taking her so long? I could really use a better magazine than these damn home decor ones for middle-aged mothers and--oh, shit." ]
Out of the corner of his eye, Jake can see what appears to be a monster! Jake pushes on the ground, hoping that spinning will be his getaway, but it's no use! He just keeps going in circles! Gaining momentum, BomberJake soon flies off of the chair, hitting a shelf full of shampoos and conditioners before falling on the floor with his eyes closed.
[ Tina Latina | "Jake! Jake, are you okay?" ]
Slowly, BomberJake looks up to see if the monster is gone. As his eyes refocus and he loses his dizziness, Jake realizes that the monster is Tina Latinas larger-than-life hairdo--she looks like Marge Simpson with a beehive on her head.
[ Tina Latina | "You like it?" ]
Still somewhat phased by there not being any monster, Jake is overwhelmed by this change in hairstyle.
[ BomberJake | "Um, um, um… y'know, I REALLY feel like preparing for my match right now! I'll get in shape so bad, Sean Rage won't know what hit him!" ]
[ Tina Latina | "But you can't do that now! I have to sit here and dry my hair, but we can still go over it." ]
Tina smiles, struts over to the seat, and places some massive machinery around her erect hair. It's a miracle that the machine doesn't make her go deaf.
[ Tina Latina | "Being in that fatal four way at One Ring, if Sean Rage were to beat you in this match, that would look really bad for you." ]
[ BomberJake | "No kidding!" ]
[ Tina Latina | "But just remember, he's the last obstacle in your way before your title shot at One Ring. He's the only person standing between you and the Pay-Per-View." ]
[ BomberJake | "Yeah! There's just this one last hurdle before I compete for the OTB World Heavyweight Title! Though I still wish I knew who I'm competing against at One Ring." ]
[ Tina Latina | "You'll find out in due time. Don't sweat it--keep in mind, you're the wrestler of the week, AND you WON the match of the week!" ]
All of a sudden, a man bursts through the front door of the salon with a large paper in his hands. It's Charlie the cameraman! Charlie rushes over to Jake and Tina with an excited look on his face.
[ Charlie | "Jake! Jake! I've devised this--oh my God, you look like a friggin' Troll!!!" ]
It is easy to see that Charlie is referring to Tina Latina's outrageous hairdo. Tina gives Charlie a dirty look and shoots daggers at him, but Charlie shrugs it off and returns back to BomberJake.
[ Charlie | "Jake, I've been watching OTB wrestling since you made the switch from the WWA, and I've made a blueprint of who your opponents can be at One Ring!" ]
Charlie shoves a crapload of womens magazines off of a table and lays the blueprint onto it.
[ Charlie | "Look--Deamon Cohln and 'Showtime' T-Neff have to work together to beat The GameChangers if they want to advance into this fatal four way. Otherwise, The GameChangers will get those two spots." ]
[ BomberJake | "Uh huh, I see…" ]
[ Tina Latina | "Cut to the chase, poindexter!" ]
[ Charlie | "Now, The GameChangers haven't had a particularly great run so far--they didn't become the tag champs last week, which is a bad sign. Though they may be able to work together in this tag match this week, I dunno how well they'd work against each other in the World Heavyweight Title match. They could double-team, but if it came down to those two, one of them would have to win… but this scenario is COMPLETELY backwards with Deamon and T-Neff." ]
Charlie points to a part of the blueprint featuring Deamon Cohln and 'Showtime' T-Neff.
[ Charlie | "I'm doubtful that Deamon and T-Neff will settle their differences and use teamwork this week, but if they manage to pick up the win, they'll have no problem tearing themselves to shreds at One Ring." ]
[ BomberJake | "So, if The GameChangers win, teamwork might just be out the window at One Ring, but if Cohln and T-Neff win, it's a real free for all." ]
[ Charlie | "Precisely." ]
Jake puts his head down and thinks.
[ BomberJake | "When my match against Sean happens, I'll know two of my three opponents at One Ring." ]
[ Charlie | "You sure will! And then you have to wait for the final match of the night to finish--the six man battle royale!" ]
The blueprint opens up even further to show the six contestants of the battle royale.
[ Charlie | "The Bman versus Corey Perfect versus Deshaun Smith versus Drago versus Saul Hudsen versus Tuffy. Deshaun held is own last week, Saul Hudsen's probably looking for revenge after you pinned him at Vendetta, and the rest are debuting this week." ]
[ Tina Latina | "So we really don't know much about them." ]
[ Charlie | "Except that three of 'em are bigger than Jake, Bman's smaller than Jake, and Drago's about Jake's size. So is Tuffy, but he's a good four inches taller." ]
BomberJake gets up from his chair and paces around the room, thinking to himself.
[ BomberJake | "If Cohln and T-Neff win, and if Saul Hudsen wins, it's practically a rematch from last week." ]
[ Tina Latina | "But the fans don't want a rematch! They wanna see how many asses Jake can tap--I mean, whoop." * giggles * ]
Charlie and Jake look at each other, not sure what to think of that.
[ BomberJake | "Who's already cut a promo?" ]
[ Tina Latina | "Deamon's shown one, and both the Bman and Tuffy have for the battle royale." ]
[ BomberJake | "Hmmm… Tuffy's been to the top of the WWA before, but he hasn't faced me. What about the other four guys in that match?" ]
[ Tina Latina | "If they don't show up, looks like it'll be one short battle royale!" ]
[ BomberJake | "No wildcard, that's a shame. I would've thought Deshaun Smith would want a piece of me after ending his WWA Canadian Title reign." ]
[ Tina Latina | "This isn't about Deshaun Smith or Deamon Cohln or Tuffy or anyone else! This is about Sean Rage--you should REALLY focus on him. Don't get ahead of yourself, Jake. You'll find out who you'll face at One Ring soon enough." ]
[ BomberJake | "Ah, you're right… sorry Charlie, but thanks anyways." ]
Jake folds up the blueprint and hands it to Charlie, who looks visibly upset.
[ Charlie | "But this is for you, Jake. I don't need it." ]
[ BomberJake | "And I don't need it either--I'm not facing any of those guys this week." ]
[ Charlie | "What happened to bros before hoes?" ]
[ Tina Latina | "Hey!" ]
Tina Latina looks pissed off at Charlies remark, and though she isn't standing, she is still able to tap her foot on the ground.
[ BomberJake | "Whoa, whoa, whoa, ixnay on the os-bray efore-bay oes-hay." ]
[ Charlie | "And what happened to bachelors to the rapture?" ]
[ Tina Latina | "What?!" ]
[ BomberJake | "Dude! Ixnay on the achelors-bay to the apture-ray." ]
[ Charlie | "What happened to the carefree BomberJake? The one that did burnouts and donuts and wrote his name in skidmarks. The one that was always hopped up on chocolate bars and Churros. The one that didn't care if he was facing a rookie named Sean Rage or a veteran named Capsule James--what happened to that Jake? What happened to you?" ]
Charlie snatches his blueprint and storms out of the salon, taking the time to knock several items over on his way out.
[ Tina Latina | "Oh, don't listen to him!" ]
[ BomberJake | "He does seem to be a bit off his rocker. Just 'cause I don't get hopped up on Churros every weekend doesn't change who I am. I have more important things to think about, like Sean Rage." ]
[ Tina Latina | "And me." ]
[ BomberJake | "…yes, and you, but I'm not wrestling you this week. Sean Rage may have won in his debut, but he certainly won't continue that winning streak at this Monday Nights Vendetta! So bring your Kick of Rage! But don't expect not to get kicked in the gut, 'cause once I have you hunched over, it's time for The BOOM!" ]
The scene fades out to Tina trying to pull this machinery off of her hair.
[ Tina Latina | "I think it's magnetizing!" ]
