A Hospital Visit

["Rockstar" Willie Bard]

Welcome back, to Entertainment Tonight!

(The music of Entertainment Tonight plays and it quickly cuts from the studio to the front of a Hospital. Then it cuts to a new correspondent, wearing a doctor's mask around his neck, outside of a hosptial)

Correspondent - Hello, I'm new Entertainment Tonight correspondent Michael Patrican, reporting here from St. Joseph's Hospital here in Syracuse, New York. Inside, a young boy lays in a considerable amount of pain due to this man.

(This picture of Willie Bard is shown)



Michael P - A broken ankle due to that man, "Rockstar" Willie Bard, a wrestler in OTB Wrestling. Surgery was performed yesterday afternoon, and the young man is currently recovering. Now, I bet that you are wondering why I'm wearing this mask. There is actually a hidden camera concealed inside of the mask, and I got all the footage from Willie Bard's apology...

(The camera cuts to a poor quality picture, inside of the young teen's room. From the camera level, it looks like Patrican is sitting down. Suddenly, we see the door open and Willie Bard walks in, followed by an OTB Wrestling Cameraman)

Bard - Hey man... umm... who's this? (pointing at Patrican)

(The teen just shrugs)

Patrican - (In desguised voice) Uh... I'm a doctor at the hospial. I'm Dr...... Smith. I was sent here to supervise and make sure you didn't try to further harm this young man.

Bard - Ok... why are you wearing that mask?

Patrican - Umm.... it's uh... a preventative against SARS...

(Bard glares at Patrican for a few minutes, and we hear heavy breathing, signifying that Patrican is nervous)

Bard - Alright. (Turns to teen) How you doing there?

Teen - Fine... you know... considering you, you know, broke my ankle.

Bard - Yeah... about that. I'm sorry dude. I didn't realize that I was that close to you.

Teen - Don't worry about it...

Bard - Well, to make it up to you, I talked with GM Daniels, and he agreed to this, you can tour with me and the rest of the OTB roster for a few months to compensate for my jackassery...

Teen - REALLY?! Wow...


Wait, is Jackassery a word?

Bard - Probably not.

(They both start laughing, and Patrican sort of fakes a laugh...)

Teen - Anyway. I had surgery last night, so I missed Vendetta. Did you win?

Bard - Was there any doubt. Of course I won...

Teen - But I bet he roughed you up a little bit...

Bard - Yeah... especially in the test of strength. I still don't have any feeling in my fingers...

Teen - Wait, you started a test of strength with a FORMER BODYBUILDER?!

Bard - Yeah... I got caught up in the moment.

Teen - What's up this week?

Bard - Well, I'm in my first tag match. I'm teaming with Easton Hall and taking on The Punks of Hardcore, EZ Punk and IB Violent. In a weapons of choice match!

Teen - Wow. What weapon are you gonna bring...

Bard - You'll see...

(The camera cuts back to Patrican outside of the hospital.)

Patrican - I had to get out of there then, because they paged a Dr. Smith to go to the Operating Room. They both looked at me and I ran out of the room. Now we'll send it back to New York after a quick commercial break.

(The scene fades to black)

["Rockstar" Willie Bard]

(We see Willie Bard walk into the teen's hospital room with a huge trash bag. The teen looks confused)

Bard - Hey bro. How's the ankle doing...

Teen - Not so well man, it got infected after surgery, so they have to keep me here to make sure it doesn't spread. (Noticing the bag) Umm... what's in the bag Willie?

Bard - (smiling) Only the greatest tricks that could be placed in any bag. It was a pain in the ass getting it through the front door, so I filled it with mini pies to cover up what's really in it.

Teen - That didn't answer my question. What's in it?

(Bard dumps out the bag, and a bunch of assorted mini pies fall out, followed by a huge variety of weapons, including a steel chair, a kendo stick, and a trash can lid)

Teen - Umm... wait. Why did you bring weapons in?

Bard - Simple, tomorrow night, I'm in a choose your own weapon tag match against IB Violent and EZ Punk. And I need to choose a weapon. So, simply enough, you're gonna hit me with the weapons and I'll figure out which is most effective...

Teen - What? Have you gone completely insane?!

Bard - Uhmm..... yes.

(He closes the door)

Bard - Alright, hit me with a chair!

(The teen reluctantly grabs a chair and holds it up)

Bard - C'mon, hit me!

(The teen swings the chair and hits Willie with the chair. Willie falls down onto one knee and looks a little out of it)

Bard - No no no no no... that won't do...... gimmie the kendo stick...

(The teen picks up the kendo stick and hits Willie in the head again. Willie looks even more dazed then before.

Bard - Ok ok... umm... hit me with the...... big hammery thing...

Teen - The sledgehammer?

Bard - Yeah..... that thing, only, hit my gut, and not my.... umm...

Teen - Head?

Bard - Yeah, that one...

(The teen hits Willie in the gut with the Sledgehammer... Willie falls to the ground in a heap. Then gets up quickly)

Bard - I got it!

Teen - What are you gonna use Willie?

(Bard, dazed and dizzy, reaches into the pile of weapons, he comes back with a Shillelagh...)

Bard - Just like the one I had as a youngin in Dublin... now, I gotta go get my head checked out.......

(Bard passes out in the middle of the hospital room and the scene fades to black)