Post by saulhudsen on Jun 2, 2006 15:51:25 GMT -5
A long stretch of highway fading into the distance greets our latest edition of Saul Hudsen, Egomaniac. Well, according to moussiuer Jake and his watery tart anyway. Fans and foes from Saul's past alike will all unanimously agree that Saul is one of the kindest, caring an charitable professional wrestlers ever to grace gods green earth....
Err... Patient...
Saul: Outta the way, jackass...
... Loving.....
Saul: I....... Haaaaateee.... EEEEVERRRYYYboooodddyyyy... HA HA!
Umm... And extremely well-spoken.
Saul: Quit with the commentating about me and my qualities. You're making me blush..
The camera pans back a bit, revealing Saul cruising in a black Aston Martin DB9 Convertible, his neck length bleached blonde and brown hair being swept by the wind. He looks up into his rear view mirror and sneaks a sly, sarcastic grin as if to say 'only joking.'
Saul: I'm beginnin' to get used to you following me around. It's like my own little Fly On The Wall show.. Saul Hudsen: Living The Life. Only on the Christianity Channel. Ha.. sure. Do you reckon within a few more days i'll have you trained up real good so you'll go grab me some ribs or beer if ever i need some?
Saul: Ah come on.. i need a companion. Looks like it's the in thing now-a-days.. to have people accompany you everywhere, telling you how great you are. Right, Jake? Well.. i've never needed it before, so you can just stick to your camera for now.
Anyway.. hey Jake. How's it goin in my home town? Spotted my apartment yet? It's the really big, classy one right on the beach. The one that shouts Saul Hudsen, future OTB Champion out at ya everytime you look at it. Oh... there i go again. Cocky, brash, confident..blah blah blah, get over it. Confidence leads to good judgement.. good judgement leads to success. Hense you managed to wind up with a girl who's already engaged.
Brownie points for effort.
But hey, sit down.. have a drink, relax and let me just cruise on past ya like that idiot i left behind back down the Highway. Because that's what'll happen, Jake. I'll be living life in the fast lane.. both professionally and personally.. and you'll be left behind, sucking on fumes and wishing you had the confidence to buy a better Golf Cart. Now i know i drunkenly said i had wood.. but come on, man... put the 9 Iron away, will ya? Well, i say 9.. but surely if that were true, you'd be the one engaged to Miss Latina and not sat drooling excess soda over her everytime she breathes.
But hey.. who wouldn't? Anyone with 8 holes is always worth a shot, i guess. A different view every time. Magic.
On the subject of alcohol, my little trick-or-treat friend, i sure as hell will be sober when i enter the ring. Half a bottle of Jack on a night off from training is what i call a well-earned bonus. I work hard, son.. as well as play hard. Maybe you should experience the pleasures of alcohol once in a while. You can't be prosecuted for drink-driving, either. Maybe after a few, you'll grow some balls and get that Prince Albert your holey friend asked you to get. Why i'm even trying to justify myself to someone who was shocked to see himself in a main event, i don't know. But hey, it kills time.
So farewell, Tiger. Make sure Tina mowes the 18th hole... the others she got are a little overgrown, i'm sure. Adios.
Smooth talking once again from Mr Smooth himself.. about not so Misses Smooth... he's sure. As he fades off into the distance to kill more than time, most probably.. our camera fades to black and Mr Camera Man, we'll call him Bob... Can go home to his wife and kids, who are really beginning to think daddy's a psychopathic, obssessed, perveted stalker that really can't get enough of Saul Hudsen. Wait a minute...
Saul...
Saul....
SAUL!!! Behind you!!
Oh.... oh..... THAT tripod. My bad.
My bad.
Phew.
:: From out of shot, a paper charity bag with the words 'Feed The Hungry. Please Help Them' plastered on the front is thrown over the cameras lens, spouting empty drink cans and food wrappers everywhere. A loud belch is heard ::
Err... Patient...
Saul: Outta the way, jackass...
:: A hand raises infront of the camera and flips a middle finger to the car behind as more obscenities are comically hurled at the driver behind ::
... Loving.....
Saul: I....... Haaaaateee.... EEEEVERRRYYYboooodddyyyy... HA HA!
Umm... And extremely well-spoken.
Saul: Quit with the commentating about me and my qualities. You're making me blush..
The camera pans back a bit, revealing Saul cruising in a black Aston Martin DB9 Convertible, his neck length bleached blonde and brown hair being swept by the wind. He looks up into his rear view mirror and sneaks a sly, sarcastic grin as if to say 'only joking.'
Saul: I'm beginnin' to get used to you following me around. It's like my own little Fly On The Wall show.. Saul Hudsen: Living The Life. Only on the Christianity Channel. Ha.. sure. Do you reckon within a few more days i'll have you trained up real good so you'll go grab me some ribs or beer if ever i need some?
:: The camera tilts 45 degrees as if the camera man was looking slightly worried::
Saul: Ah come on.. i need a companion. Looks like it's the in thing now-a-days.. to have people accompany you everywhere, telling you how great you are. Right, Jake? Well.. i've never needed it before, so you can just stick to your camera for now.
Anyway.. hey Jake. How's it goin in my home town? Spotted my apartment yet? It's the really big, classy one right on the beach. The one that shouts Saul Hudsen, future OTB Champion out at ya everytime you look at it. Oh... there i go again. Cocky, brash, confident..blah blah blah, get over it. Confidence leads to good judgement.. good judgement leads to success. Hense you managed to wind up with a girl who's already engaged.
Brownie points for effort.
But hey, sit down.. have a drink, relax and let me just cruise on past ya like that idiot i left behind back down the Highway. Because that's what'll happen, Jake. I'll be living life in the fast lane.. both professionally and personally.. and you'll be left behind, sucking on fumes and wishing you had the confidence to buy a better Golf Cart. Now i know i drunkenly said i had wood.. but come on, man... put the 9 Iron away, will ya? Well, i say 9.. but surely if that were true, you'd be the one engaged to Miss Latina and not sat drooling excess soda over her everytime she breathes.
But hey.. who wouldn't? Anyone with 8 holes is always worth a shot, i guess. A different view every time. Magic.
On the subject of alcohol, my little trick-or-treat friend, i sure as hell will be sober when i enter the ring. Half a bottle of Jack on a night off from training is what i call a well-earned bonus. I work hard, son.. as well as play hard. Maybe you should experience the pleasures of alcohol once in a while. You can't be prosecuted for drink-driving, either. Maybe after a few, you'll grow some balls and get that Prince Albert your holey friend asked you to get. Why i'm even trying to justify myself to someone who was shocked to see himself in a main event, i don't know. But hey, it kills time.
So farewell, Tiger. Make sure Tina mowes the 18th hole... the others she got are a little overgrown, i'm sure. Adios.
Smooth talking once again from Mr Smooth himself.. about not so Misses Smooth... he's sure. As he fades off into the distance to kill more than time, most probably.. our camera fades to black and Mr Camera Man, we'll call him Bob... Can go home to his wife and kids, who are really beginning to think daddy's a psychopathic, obssessed, perveted stalker that really can't get enough of Saul Hudsen. Wait a minute...
Saul...
Saul....
SAUL!!! Behind you!!
Oh.... oh..... THAT tripod. My bad.
My bad.
Phew.