Post by Shane Ralston on Jul 6, 2006 0:03:18 GMT -5
Well I felt like this is a time where the roster needs something to keep the fed fresh, and I usually do my rants on the show, to add some realism to the fed. But this time around I find myself with a little bit more free time. So I've decided to make this an official column. I hope you all enjoy, and feedback is welcomed.
THE VERY FIRST RALSTON RANT
FIRST THING'S FIRST
First thing is first, and that has to be the State of the OTB. Its been a slow past few weeks for the roster and staff of the OTB, but there are always trying times for any federation trying to get off the ground. Only The Best Wrestling is filled with talent all over the place, but dedication is the key ladies and gents. Any owner or staff member can preach it to the roster. You can't teach dedication, just like you can't teach size in sports.
Mr. Daniels has done a great job running things, and can recruit new people better than anyone I've ever seen in the fed business. He will make this thing succeed, and won't give up on it until its dead twice over. Its best for this roster now to have the paitence that is needing, and those certain few might be rewarded later down the road for their paitence and loyality.
Well I can't think of much more for my little opening bit, so lets get on to the next order of business and we go to the OTB Report Card. So everyone will know what is going on, I'm gonna pick two people each week and critique them so far and give them a grade. "A" being the best, and "F" being the worst.
OTB REPORT CARD
BomberJake
I never got see what this guy could do in the WWA before it closed its doors, and just assumed the guy was just another mediocre guy with a stupid sig . . . . B-B-B-B-But this Canadian Bastard sat me up in my chair and got my attention with his first batch of promo's here in the OTB. The guy has what it takes to be at the top of a federation, and as long as he stays consistent it will only make the rest of the roster step up their game. There was a no doubt in my mind after the second week that this guy was a top guy, and would be in the OTB World Title hunt. Not only is he in the hunt, he is now the hunted. So when I sat down to think of the grade to give BomberJake, there is only one thing to give him.
Grade: A
Why: He has done everything right to get this grade, even when the rest of the federation wasn't showing up he was putting out some great stuff along with Saul Hudsen. So kudos to Jakie Boy, and keep up the good work.
Summer McCoy
Alright here is another example of myself selling a person short . . . or is it judging a book by it's cover . .. or don't eat cheese before noon . . . . aaahhh I'm rambling. Anyways here is the first time in the six years I've done this stuff that I've seen a female "out run" some of the guys. When I say out run I mean leave a lot of the "men" around here in the dust with her ability. I know some of the people in here have seen her in action, but she sure surprised the hell out of me. She has shown that she is becoming and will soon be a Top Tier competitor in the OTB. So once again I gotta hand at a grade.
Grade: A
Why: Just like Jake, Summer has done everything right. Sure she might of no showed here or there, but when she shows up; she shows up strong. Watch out for this girl guys . . .
This would be the time I would review the show from this past week, but there wasn't much of one so I will skip right down to the Real Life Spectrum.
REAL LIFE SPECTRUM
Now this doesn't mean I'm gonna talk about life problems, this is about wrestling. So the Real Life Spectrum is a part of this little thing I call a column to give my feelings on the week it was in Professional Wrestling.
Another sad wrestling week for RAW, and when I mean sad I mean that the most entertainment on this show came from two guys "banned" from the building. Nothing in the ring this past week excited me whatsoever.
- The Highlanders = SORRY GIMMICK AND SORRY WRESTLERS. I had hope these guys might be good with a bad gimmick, but after that performance I was giving a disgusting big pile of Sports Entertainment.
- F*CK THE MIDCARD = Another week, another crap on to the mid card. Nitro and Carlito were giving jack shit to work with, and SHELTON WASN'T EVEN ON THE SHOW!!!!! I mean what the hell, this is supposed to be your future, quit shitting on them Crazy Vince and realize you have to give up on your pets.
- I Really Hate Cena = This is the first week and what will be a lot more of my Hate Cena post. Now its already said that Vince feels that Cena is the future and to protect him like a Hogan or Austin. BUT THE CROWD F'N HATES THIS GUY. Except for the females and kids. And the last time I checked, kids don't order PPVs. So repackage Cena, or get ready for a giant backlash.
Now it's onto the Minor Leagues of the WWE, and that has to be SmackDown my friends. Never have I seen a show treated this badly in wrestling, but Vince cares about his baby. SmackDown has to sit and try to enjoy the Shit Sandwich Vince has fixed for them. So here are my few tips to fix SmackDown with the roster it has to work with.
1.) PUT THE TITLE ON BOOKER T!!!!! He is hotter than ever right now, and you need someone who the true fans can see as a legit Heavyweight Title. From there you can build to a decent fued with Batista that can end at Survivor Series.
Now that the Main Event is solved for the next few months, lets look at the mess of a Mid-Card over on SmackDown.
2.) Make Lashley look like a rookie right now, he is the fresh face and should make mistakes in the ring. The mistakes might cost him matches sometimes, but sometimes it might just give the heel some momentum. So you can get the title off of him, and use a Lashley push against the Undertaker.
3.) Since you would be doing a Lashley vs. Undertaker fued, there is no need in Khali anymore so get the fudge ouuuuttttttt. Just have Lashley as the youngster who thinks he is unstoppable, and can go through anything. And since Calloway is getting up there in age, use him to push Lashley through the roof.
4.) Now who does Lashley drop the US Title too???---------- MR. KENNEDY!!!!! Kennedy can be the perfect heel champ, and can set up for a nice fued over the summer and into the fall with Matt Hardy. Its time to do something with Matt Hardy and having him fued with the abnoxious heel Kennedy will give the fans something to be entertained by for the next month or so.
Now SmackDown needs a few more things to help through the rest of the summer and into the fall.
5.) Mark Henry vs. Finlay. Why you ask??? Henry is the World's Strongest Man, and Finlay is a tough son of a bitch. The two of them clashing would make for something the crowd would either accept or reject. Because I feel the fans would accept two guys beating the living hell out of each other in matches. Plus I love Finlay!!!
6.) Little Guys vs. Big Guys Tags Match. London/Kendricks needs some competition and the only true tag team out there right now is Gymini. So do the little vs. big Tag Fued with Simon Dean helping to give the no personailities some heat.
That's all I can think of to help SmackDown, you can't help the Cruisers because Vince has already buried them enough as it is.
Now to ECW . . . . . I got one word for that CLUSTERF*CK, I don't know if that is one whole word but I don't care. This has become a disaster with Kelly's now boring stripteases, Mike Knox not acting like a heel should, Test looking ridiculous, and the Big Guy being at the top of the brand. I don't know how ECW can be helped, unless Vince gets some serious health issues in the next few weeks. To all you ECW fans, I don't think help is on the way. Sorry.
Well I'm getting close to bringing this thing home, but I got a special little thing for the males here in the OTB (Sorry Summer). I call this next segment, Ralston's Three Hotties Of The Week.
RALSTON'S 3 HOTTIES OF THE WEEK - PRESENTED BY GOOGLE
The first Hottie of the week, is one of the most naturally beautiful women in the world . . . . .
Salma Hayek
Did I tell you she can act too?!?!?
Next up is probably the hottest Canadian in the acting business right now . . . . .
Elisha Cuthbert
Thank You Canada is all I can say to that.
And finally the one Hottie that has had me spinning since seeing Ghost World . . .
Scarlett Johansson
That is MY Dream girl, I don't care what any of you say.
Well that is all she wrote for the very first Ralston Rant, I hope you all enjoyed reading it, and there will be more meat next time. Would love some feedback, and don't be afraid to send in questions or comments to add to the column that deal with OTB or the Real Life Spectrum.
See Y'all In The Funny Papers (I know it isn't the best, but that's what I have for a farewell this week.)
THE VERY FIRST RALSTON RANT
FIRST THING'S FIRST
First thing is first, and that has to be the State of the OTB. Its been a slow past few weeks for the roster and staff of the OTB, but there are always trying times for any federation trying to get off the ground. Only The Best Wrestling is filled with talent all over the place, but dedication is the key ladies and gents. Any owner or staff member can preach it to the roster. You can't teach dedication, just like you can't teach size in sports.
Mr. Daniels has done a great job running things, and can recruit new people better than anyone I've ever seen in the fed business. He will make this thing succeed, and won't give up on it until its dead twice over. Its best for this roster now to have the paitence that is needing, and those certain few might be rewarded later down the road for their paitence and loyality.
Well I can't think of much more for my little opening bit, so lets get on to the next order of business and we go to the OTB Report Card. So everyone will know what is going on, I'm gonna pick two people each week and critique them so far and give them a grade. "A" being the best, and "F" being the worst.
OTB REPORT CARD
BomberJake
I never got see what this guy could do in the WWA before it closed its doors, and just assumed the guy was just another mediocre guy with a stupid sig . . . . B-B-B-B-But this Canadian Bastard sat me up in my chair and got my attention with his first batch of promo's here in the OTB. The guy has what it takes to be at the top of a federation, and as long as he stays consistent it will only make the rest of the roster step up their game. There was a no doubt in my mind after the second week that this guy was a top guy, and would be in the OTB World Title hunt. Not only is he in the hunt, he is now the hunted. So when I sat down to think of the grade to give BomberJake, there is only one thing to give him.
Grade: A
Why: He has done everything right to get this grade, even when the rest of the federation wasn't showing up he was putting out some great stuff along with Saul Hudsen. So kudos to Jakie Boy, and keep up the good work.
Summer McCoy
Alright here is another example of myself selling a person short . . . or is it judging a book by it's cover . .. or don't eat cheese before noon . . . . aaahhh I'm rambling. Anyways here is the first time in the six years I've done this stuff that I've seen a female "out run" some of the guys. When I say out run I mean leave a lot of the "men" around here in the dust with her ability. I know some of the people in here have seen her in action, but she sure surprised the hell out of me. She has shown that she is becoming and will soon be a Top Tier competitor in the OTB. So once again I gotta hand at a grade.
Grade: A
Why: Just like Jake, Summer has done everything right. Sure she might of no showed here or there, but when she shows up; she shows up strong. Watch out for this girl guys . . .
This would be the time I would review the show from this past week, but there wasn't much of one so I will skip right down to the Real Life Spectrum.
REAL LIFE SPECTRUM
Now this doesn't mean I'm gonna talk about life problems, this is about wrestling. So the Real Life Spectrum is a part of this little thing I call a column to give my feelings on the week it was in Professional Wrestling.
Another sad wrestling week for RAW, and when I mean sad I mean that the most entertainment on this show came from two guys "banned" from the building. Nothing in the ring this past week excited me whatsoever.
- The Highlanders = SORRY GIMMICK AND SORRY WRESTLERS. I had hope these guys might be good with a bad gimmick, but after that performance I was giving a disgusting big pile of Sports Entertainment.
- F*CK THE MIDCARD = Another week, another crap on to the mid card. Nitro and Carlito were giving jack shit to work with, and SHELTON WASN'T EVEN ON THE SHOW!!!!! I mean what the hell, this is supposed to be your future, quit shitting on them Crazy Vince and realize you have to give up on your pets.
- I Really Hate Cena = This is the first week and what will be a lot more of my Hate Cena post. Now its already said that Vince feels that Cena is the future and to protect him like a Hogan or Austin. BUT THE CROWD F'N HATES THIS GUY. Except for the females and kids. And the last time I checked, kids don't order PPVs. So repackage Cena, or get ready for a giant backlash.
Now it's onto the Minor Leagues of the WWE, and that has to be SmackDown my friends. Never have I seen a show treated this badly in wrestling, but Vince cares about his baby. SmackDown has to sit and try to enjoy the Shit Sandwich Vince has fixed for them. So here are my few tips to fix SmackDown with the roster it has to work with.
1.) PUT THE TITLE ON BOOKER T!!!!! He is hotter than ever right now, and you need someone who the true fans can see as a legit Heavyweight Title. From there you can build to a decent fued with Batista that can end at Survivor Series.
Now that the Main Event is solved for the next few months, lets look at the mess of a Mid-Card over on SmackDown.
2.) Make Lashley look like a rookie right now, he is the fresh face and should make mistakes in the ring. The mistakes might cost him matches sometimes, but sometimes it might just give the heel some momentum. So you can get the title off of him, and use a Lashley push against the Undertaker.
3.) Since you would be doing a Lashley vs. Undertaker fued, there is no need in Khali anymore so get the fudge ouuuuttttttt. Just have Lashley as the youngster who thinks he is unstoppable, and can go through anything. And since Calloway is getting up there in age, use him to push Lashley through the roof.
4.) Now who does Lashley drop the US Title too???---------- MR. KENNEDY!!!!! Kennedy can be the perfect heel champ, and can set up for a nice fued over the summer and into the fall with Matt Hardy. Its time to do something with Matt Hardy and having him fued with the abnoxious heel Kennedy will give the fans something to be entertained by for the next month or so.
Now SmackDown needs a few more things to help through the rest of the summer and into the fall.
5.) Mark Henry vs. Finlay. Why you ask??? Henry is the World's Strongest Man, and Finlay is a tough son of a bitch. The two of them clashing would make for something the crowd would either accept or reject. Because I feel the fans would accept two guys beating the living hell out of each other in matches. Plus I love Finlay!!!
6.) Little Guys vs. Big Guys Tags Match. London/Kendricks needs some competition and the only true tag team out there right now is Gymini. So do the little vs. big Tag Fued with Simon Dean helping to give the no personailities some heat.
That's all I can think of to help SmackDown, you can't help the Cruisers because Vince has already buried them enough as it is.
Now to ECW . . . . . I got one word for that CLUSTERF*CK, I don't know if that is one whole word but I don't care. This has become a disaster with Kelly's now boring stripteases, Mike Knox not acting like a heel should, Test looking ridiculous, and the Big Guy being at the top of the brand. I don't know how ECW can be helped, unless Vince gets some serious health issues in the next few weeks. To all you ECW fans, I don't think help is on the way. Sorry.
Well I'm getting close to bringing this thing home, but I got a special little thing for the males here in the OTB (Sorry Summer). I call this next segment, Ralston's Three Hotties Of The Week.
RALSTON'S 3 HOTTIES OF THE WEEK - PRESENTED BY GOOGLE
The first Hottie of the week, is one of the most naturally beautiful women in the world . . . . .
Salma Hayek
Did I tell you she can act too?!?!?
Next up is probably the hottest Canadian in the acting business right now . . . . .
Elisha Cuthbert
Thank You Canada is all I can say to that.
And finally the one Hottie that has had me spinning since seeing Ghost World . . .
Scarlett Johansson
That is MY Dream girl, I don't care what any of you say.
Well that is all she wrote for the very first Ralston Rant, I hope you all enjoyed reading it, and there will be more meat next time. Would love some feedback, and don't be afraid to send in questions or comments to add to the column that deal with OTB or the Real Life Spectrum.
See Y'all In The Funny Papers (I know it isn't the best, but that's what I have for a farewell this week.)