Trial By Fire Tournament: Bard

[President Hudson]

5 RPs

Deadline is August 5th at 8 pm EST!

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["Rockstar" Willie Bard]

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I PRESENT TO YOU, THE NEW HWF UNITED STATES CHAMPION, "ROCKSTAR" WILLIE BARD![/COLOR][/I][/b][/size]

(Sparks come up from the ground, and when they stop, there is Willie Bard, with his newly won United States Title around his waist. We hear cheering, and the camera shifts and it's clear that there is some kind of party going on.)

Bard - Thanks for the intro Troy. Now, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, I have arrived! IT'S PARTYTIME!

(Party music begins to play and the party gets started

Bard walks around and sees his teenage counterpart)

Teen - How ya doin' Willie. (Sarcastically) Good to see that the US Title win go to your head.

Bard - Hey, I worked my ass off in that match. I believe I deserve a little R & R.

Teen - Even with the tournament this week?

Bard - Yeah, even with the tournament this week.

Teen - You're not worried?

Bard - Worried? Look at me. I am a man who has stared death in the face and spat on it's shoes. A man that has leaped off of tall structures for 20 bucks and a bucket of KFC Chicken. A man who has swam halfway across the Atlantic, got tired, then quit and swam back...

Teen - Why would you do that?

Bard - Cause KFC is the SHIT!

Teen - No... dumbass. The swimming across the Atlantic part. You swam halfway, why not just continue across the other half?

Bard - Like I said, I got tired. And the 2nd half of the Atlantic is uphill...

Teen - Ummmmmm is that possible?

Bard - Probably...

(Opens a Budweiser and sips at it)

Teen - Do you even know who your opponents are?

(Bard thinks hard)

Bard - Uhm.... no.

Teen - Trial By Fire is next Sunday. And you don't know who you're facing?

Bard - I got 8 days.... I'll figure it out by then.

Teen - You don't even know who you're facing in the first match?

Bard - Umm......... no.

Teen - It's Deamon Cohln!

(The party abruptly goes silent at the mention of Deamon's name)

Party Goer 1 - Deamon Cohln?!

Party Goer 2 - Is he here?!

Party Goer 3 - RUN!

(Immediately the party goers begin to disperse in all directions. Bard stares at the Teen very angrily)

Bard - You just had to say his name, didn't ya?

Teen - Sorry dude, but seriously, you should know this. You're fighting Deamon in the first round.

Bard - I am now. That's upsetting. I think he'll be pissed cause I took his title...

Teen - Ya think? And it's not just a normal match.

Bard - It isn't? What kind of match is it then?

Teen - First round, submission matches. No problem, I'm sure you could whip something up that could make Cohln tap. Right?

Bard - Wrong.

Teen - Wrong?

Bard - Yeah. When I was training to wrestle, I never really paid much attention to excecuting submission moves. I always counted on my quickness and high flying to get me by.

Teen - So you don't know any submission moves?

Bard - None come to mind...

Teen - Well, you better whip one quick, or you'll be out in the first round...

Bard - Well...... let's just pretend that the first round doesn't exist.

Teen - You can't just skip a round Willie!

Bard - Yes we can... let's just do this assuming that Cohln gets Malaria and can't compete. Who would I face in the 2nd round...

Teen - Well, if you win. Either Flame or BomberJake. And 2nd round matches are I Quit Matches.

Bard - Gahoul.....

Teen - What's wrong now.

Bard - Well...... Jake's the World Champ and I've seen Flame's work. Trust me, he's good...

Teen - You'll have to be better.

Bard - Ok, what about the finals?

Teen - Oh, that could be anyone.

Bard - Who haven't you mentioned yet?

Teen - Well, Shane Ralston ducked out. Let me think. Dusk, Scotty Blaze, Riley Jones, and whoever Hudson gets to replace Ralston.

Bard - Fantastic.... I gotta prepare for 7 other people that I may, or may not be facing.

Teen - I haven't mentioned the Final Match stipulation.

Bard - Please let it be a "Let Bard Win the Tourney Match......"

Teen - It isn't... it's a... a last man standing match.

(Bard looks blankly at the teen and then passes out.)

Teen - Oh... this is no good. IT'S NOT GONNA HELP YOU TO PASS OUT FOR A LAST MAN STANDING MATCH! .....hello? Oh jeez... MEDIC!

(The scene fades to black)

["Rockstar" Willie Bard]

(The camera is zoomed in on what looks to be an overnight bag with clothes in it. The camera zooms out and it's Willie Bard, packing. His teenage counterpart comes through the door, see's Bard packing, and panics.)

Teen - Willie, what are you doing?!

Bard - Packing.

Teen - Packing for what?

Bard - Warped Tour in Fitchburg, Massachusetts.

Teen - You're going to Fitchburg for Warped Tour?

Bard - Yes.

Teen - You can't go! What about your match, or matches?

Bard - What about them?

Teen - You can't prepare for a match while you're moshing at some airport in Fitchburg!

Bard - I've already started preparing for the match or matches.

Teen - How?

Bard - I found out that Bryan Blade is replacing Ralston in the tournament.

Teen - Duh. They posted it on the HWF Website.

Bard - I also looked at videos of everyone's finisher and thought of a way to counter it.

Teen - (Surprised) You did?

Bard - Sort of.

Teen - What do you mean sort of?

Bard - Well, like, Deamon Cohln, for example. I know his finishers pretty well. He does a somersaulting DDT. I can counter that.

Teen - Ok... just tell me how.

Bard - Running away before he locks it in...

Teen - Umm... what if you're knocked out?

Bard - Then I guess I'm not winning the tournament, then, am I?

Teen - That's not good enough Willie. Do you even care about the tournament?

Bard - Yeah I care, but if I don't win, it's no problem.

Teen - What you should be doing is learning submission moves and how to counter them. Not just how to counter your oppoent's finishers. Deamon could give you something you've never seen before.

Bard - And why would I learn submissions?

Teen - BECAUSE THAT'S THE FIRST STIPULATION! SUBMISSION ONLY! God damn, your mother must hate you...

Bard - Well, actually there's sort of a love hate rela- HEY!

Teen - Exactly. You gotta worry about making Deamon Cohln tap out before he makes you tap.

Bard - Umm... ok. What should I do.

Teen - I don't know. I'm not some kind of guru on submission maneuvers.

Bard - Alright. But, if I end up facing Flame in the Semifinals, I can counter his Flame Bomb with a hurricanrana.

Teen - That's good. But how are you gonna make him quit?

Bard - By pummeling him with weapons. I'll be all SMACK! CRASH! BING! BOOM! KRACK!

Teen - You misspelled crack...

Bard - No I didn't...

Teen - Ok..... anyway, what if you face Jake in the Semis?

Bard - Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. What if I don't face Jake in the semis?

Teen - Are you serious?

Bard - Yes.

Teen - Jake is the WOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRLD CHHHHHAAAAAAAAAMP! There's a very good chance you'll face him.

Bard - Um....... ok. I'll research him when I get back.

Teen - No. Figure out how to counter Da Boom!

Bard - Lets see....... I could block it by wrapping my legs around his.

Teen - Won't work. It's a fisherman's suplex. He hooks one of your legs.

Bard - I could punch him until he lets go.

Teen - You might not have a chance. What if he hits it when you're not expecting it.

Bard - Ok. Let's just assume I'm facing Flame. Then I don't have to worry about Jake.

Teen - No. You can't assume anything. Jake could make Flame tap out in 15 seconds for all you know.

Bard - Yeah, but Flame could do the same to Jake.

Teen - Whatever you say Willie. Have you prepared for the finals?

Bard - Yeah. This is how I'm preparing.

Teen - How?

(Bard falls to the floor, and then gets back up quickly)

Bard - Like that. I won't even give the ref a chance to count.

Teen - Ok, you do realize that your oppoent is gonna hit you with everything including the kitchen sink, right?

Bard - Yes.

Teen - So you still think you're gonna be able to get up that fast.

Bard - ....yes.

Teen - Whatever. I'm not even gonna bother. Ok? Just go to Warped Tour, and when you come back on Thursday, we'll work it out.

Bard - (Smiling) Spoken like a true friend...

(The teen leaves and Bard continues to pack as the scene fades to black)

["Rockstar" Willie Bard]

(We see Willie Bard, on the road leading to the Fitchburg Municipal Airport, where Warped Tour was being held. He is heading away from the airport. It is dark, and Willie is VERY high.

A motorist leaving the event stops to chat with Willie)

Motorist - Yo man. You ok.

Bard - Listen man...... I gotta get home.... or... somewhere else man. I can't be here no more man. There ain't no music here.

Motorist - You need a lift?

Bard - I need a joint... youz guys have any?

Motorist - No man. Listen, get in the backseat.

Bard - Well.... some girl said she's fuck me if I got her a joint... so I was gonna give it to her, but I ended up smokin it. Now I gotta get another one, go back, and give it to her. I need to get fucked bad man...

Motorist – What time was this?

Bard – Umm… I don’t know. The sun was out... I know that much.

Motorist – Yeah, it’s 1 AM, I doubt she’s still here.

Bard – Fuck

Motorist – Listen, I’ll get you where you need to go. Where do you need to go?

(Bard doesn’t answer and just climbs into the back seat.)

Motorist – Where do you need to go?

Bard – Where am I now?

Motorist – Fitchburg

Bard – Which is closer? Syracuse or Detroit?

Motorist – I’m actually from Michigan. So I could give you a lift to Detroit.

Bard – Thanks bro.

(The motorist continues to drive)

Motorist – You look familiar.

Bard – Yeah. I get that a lot.

Motorist – You just look like someone I’ve seen before… sorry, I didn’t catch your name, what is it?

Bard – Willie… Willie Bard.

Motorist – OH! That’s where I know you from. You’re “Rockstar” Willie Bard! Oh my God. I love HWF.

Bard – Yeah… HWF is cool.

Motorist – That would explain why you’re going to Detroit. Trial By Fire on Su-

Bard – Where’s the fire?

Motorist – No no, Trial By Fire. HWF’s Pay Per View.

Bard – Oh…… that’s right.

Motorist – Yeah, I’m actually going.

Bard – That’s nice…

Motorist – You pumped about the tournament.

Bard – Sorry… not a fan of College Basketball. I liked when Syracuse won it a couple years ago. But just not a big fan.

Motorist – No, the tournament you’re in. The Trial By Fire Tournament. First round you’re facing Deamon Cohln.

Bard – Yeah… I hate that fucker. He deserves to get the shit kicked out of him.

Motorist – And you’re gonna be the one to do it. You’re gonna kick his ass on Sunday man.

Bard - Am I really?

Motorist - Then, you’re gonna face either Flame or Jake and kick one of their asses too.

Bard - I hate Jake... he should lose...

Motorist - Then, you’ll be in the final. Whoever you end up facing, you’ll be the one who knocks them out for 10 seconds.

(Bard passed out long before the motorist was done with his speech about the tournament.)

Motorist – Umm… dude? Willie?

(The scene fades to black)