Post by BomberJake on Aug 16, 2006 15:16:02 GMT -5
Back on the road, Tina Latina and BomberJake are driving down the Las Vegas strip, passing elaborate hotels and the flashy lights of the casinos. They pull up to the side of the road at a sports bar. They park and step out of the golfcart.
[ Tina Latina | "We'll grab a bite to eat here n' then we'll be back on the road." ]
Jake nods and holds open the door to the sports bar for Tina. They enter and take a seat, noticing a TV with Flame's promos playing.
[ Tina Latina | "Oh, God, can't we go anywhere without seeing his pancake batter face?" ]
[ BomberJake | "I know… he seems to really take this Wicca stuff seriously… power of domination my ass…" ]
They wait for the promo to end, which seems like forever as Flame babbles on and on. As the scene fades, Tina looks at Jake.
[ Tina Latina | "I think I lost my appetite…" ]
[ BomberJake | "The machete bit wasn't that bad, was it?" ]
[ Tina Latina | "No, it's not that… just seeing Flame's ugly smug mug on the TV made me throw up in my mouth a little bit." ]
[ BomberJake | "Ah, we'll get back on the road." ]
Jake turns and looks at his golfcart--he sees a patrol officer standing a few feet away, radioing for a tow-truck.
[ BomberJake | "Hey, we gotta sneak out of here past that cop!" ]
Tina glances over and sees him.
[ Tina Latina | "We'll make our move when he's not looking." ]
Tina and Jake stand up from their table and walk towards the door--they slowly open it and watch the patrol officer. He turns around, writing something on a piece of paper. As he's distracted, BomberJake and Tina Latina run into the golfcart, turn on the ignition, and pull into the street, almost without looking. The officer yells at them, but Jake's already speeding down the street.
[ BomberJake | "I think we can lose him!" ]
Jake dangerously weaves through traffic, making it far from the officer in very little time. It's difficult to see him now as the officer is far back.
[ Tina Latina | "You lost him." ]
BomberJake and Tina enter a quieter district of Las Vegas, with more open road. This allows BomberJake to turn the mounted camera towards him and send another message.
[ BomberJake | "I don't need to hear your life story, Flame. I don't have to listen to your promos about you attempting to murder your own father. I don't need to waste twelve minutes of my life on something I can sum up in five words:" ]
Jake takes one hand off the steering wheel and begins counting the words with his fingers.
[ BomberJake | "'You're… one… sick, twisted motherfucker'! That sums it all up right there!" ]
[ Tina Latina | "Hey! How come you can swear like that?" ]
[ BomberJake | "'cause your lips shouldn't ever be dirty." ]
Jake winks at Tina and continues.
[ BomberJake | "Flame, I know you're upset about Tina and I making your beliefs look like an SNL sketch, but you and your sorry excuse for a religion had it coming when you walked into the shot naked--this is a promo, not a porno! There is no way to gain ring power by having some chick deliver lip service to your penis! What was that ritual for? To give you a set of lips down there? Wait, don't answer that--I have plenty more questions for you." ]
Jake holds a gaze into the camera, but looks back at the road as not to cause an accident.
[ BomberJake | "And so now you're gonna judge my ability based on your apprenticing disciple example? And his new Wiccan name is now Pain? How… original. You came up with that yourself, Flame? Is that how you got your name? I guess so 'cause you can't spell 'Flame' without 'LAME'." ]
Nobody laughs, but Jake doesn't expect anyone to laugh at that.
[ BomberJake | "You see what I did, Flame? You judged me as someone else, so I judged your name. That doesn't hold much merit, now does it? Neither do you, Flame--don't underestimate me! You may've won our match at Trial By Fire, but now you think you've sealed the deal by putting us in this contraption of yours! You think I'm the underdog that doesn't stand a chance! You think I'm the only one that'll be torn by barbed wire and put in seering agony of that salty moat, but you and I took each other to our limits at Trial By Fire! You got the best of me, but don't think that I'm not out to get the best of you! You're talkin' about ending my career like squashing an insect--Flame, I'VE ended careers! Hell, when I joined the OTB, I hit The BOOM on 'Too Good' Tommy Crusher and he's been in the hospital since then! More notably, I single-handedly put out bigger names like Omega and Capsule James, effectively taking the titles they once held in the LAW! And now in the HWF, I'm facing you. I don't intend to end your career, Flame, but if that's what I have to do to win this match, I'll send you to the hospital in a heartbeat! Or maybe I'll give you no chance of living and I'll put you in a hearse that's headed for the morgue! You sound like you're familiar with hearses and morgues." ]
BomberJake stares back into the camera. They're now back in the Nevada desert with nothing but a clear path ahead of them.
[ BomberJake | "It doesn't take a legend to end a career. Some jobber could join up, botch a move, and his opponent could be paralyzed from the neck down. But I won't do that to you at Lockdown, Flame. You may be used to hanging out in prison facilities surrounded by barbed wire and moats, but even though this is a new adventure for me, experience means nothing in this match! I'm smaller, faster, and smarter than you--I can use that cage against you in ways you've never seen! I'm gonna use all of my skill, my talent, and my cunning to attack you in that cage like no one else has!" ]
Behind them, sirens can be heard--Tina turns around and sees several police cars following them, but BomberJake ignores the sounds. He's much too focused on the camera and doesn't even hear Tina tell him to speed up.
[ BomberJake | "I'm undefeated in steel cages, Flame, and if I have to wrap that barbed wire around your neck and choke you as blood pours out of your throat, then so be it! You've unleashed a side of me that is seldom seen or heard… a side that hasn't been used since my days as XCW Hardcore Champion… and it's been escalating since the Hybrid Wrestling Federation started--since I buried Saul Hudsen alive! It's building, it's rising, it's like clockwork, Flame! And there's nothing your Pagan ass can do about it! Come this Thursday, I will drive your face into steel! I will pound your flesh into the mesh! I will pop every blood vessel in your body 'til your eyes are glazed over in a crimson mask! And when I'm done warming up, I'll send you plunging head-first into what will feel like needles piercing through your skin, and you'll wish you never won that tournament! You'll wish you never booked this match! You'll wish you never low-blowed me, and you'll wish that you never met the man they call BomberJake…" ]
Jake falls silent, but keeps the camera rolling. He doesn't say a word and Tina gets worried.
[ Tina Latina | "Jake… hello?" ]
There's still no answer from BomberJake--he just keeps driving down the Nevada desert. The sound of a helicopter is heard and Tina looks out the passengers side. Sure enough, there's a helicopter following them. She turns on the radio and listens to the report.
[ Radio Reporter | "We've just received word that the elusive Bonnie & Clyde couple from yesterday evenings episode of 'Americas Most Wanted' are on the run in the Nevada desert, and the Las Vegas Police Department is hot on their tail!" ]
[ Tina Latina | "Jake! Do something!" ]
Jake doesn't do anything. He just watches the road ahead of him, holding the wheel steady.
[ Tina Latina | "At least say something!" ]
BomberJake doesn't say anything.
[ Tina Latina | "Jake, that helicopter is getting aerial footage of us right now! It's probably being broadcast live all over CNN!" ]
[ BomberJake | "What can we do, Tina?! What the hell can we do?! They've got a helicopter watching us! There's nowhere to run, there's nowhere to hide!" ]
[ Radio Reporter | "We've just learnt that the suspects are HWF World Heavyweight Champion, BomberJake, and his manager, Tina Latina!" ]
[ Tina Latina | "I'm not his manager! I'm his valet!" ]
[ BomberJake | "Either way, they have our identities now!" ]
[ Radio Reporter | "These two are wanted for the murder of one 'Charlie The Cameraman' in Indiana." ]
[ BomberJake | "And they know what we did! They know we're criminals!" ]
BomberJake reaches into the backseat for the HWF World Heavyweight Title--he only takes his eyes off the road for a second, but in that second, they run over a spike strip and the golfcart slows to a stop. Neither of them try to bail out as the cops pull up quickly. Jake turns off the ignition and several officers approach the golfcart slowly. They instruct orders to both Jake and Tina, which are obeyed. Both of them are under arrest for the murder of Charlie, but as they are put into the back of one of the police cars, they look over to see--
[ Tina Latina | "Trainer Chuck?!" ]
[ Trainer Chuck | "That's right--I knew that day at the gym wouldn't be the last time I saw you two!" ]
[ BomberJake | "Why are you here, Chuck?" ]
[ Trainer Chuck | "Because… you killed… my father." ]
Jake leans back with a look of confusion.
[ BomberJake | "But… Charlie never had a son, only three daughters…" ]
[ Trainer Chuck | "He happened to like hookers, okay?!" ]
Jake leans back, accepting the answer but still phased that Charlie had a son.
[ Trainer Chuck | "I hope they lock you two up for good!" ]
And with that, Trainer Chuck walks back to the cop car he came in. Jake looks over at Tina, who looks out the window.
[ Tina Latina | "Some day they’ll go down together
and they’ll lock 'em up side by side.
To few, it’ll be grief,
to the law, a relief,
but it’s the end for Bonnie and Clyde…" ]
The scene fades out from there, but fades in to some time later at the city jail. BomberJake and Tina Latina are both in the same cell, except while Jake is sitting down with the HWF World Heavyweight Title over his shoulder, Tina is pacing back and forth, visibly outraged.
[ Tina Latina | "How could I have forgotten my purse with the money in it?! How?! By now, it's long gone!" ]
Tina keeps pacing, but quiets down a bit. BomberJake has started talking, but not much.
[ BomberJake | "I guess this is it… I guess you can't get away with everything in Sin City…" ]
[ Tina Latina | "Now we'll never make it to the show!" ]
Suddenly, a door opens at the end of the hall and an officer walks in. Someone is walking behind the officer, but that person cannot be seen. The officer claims they have a visitor, and it's… TINA LATINA?!
[ BomberJake | "What the--?!" ]
Jake starts seeing double--he looks at the Tina in the cell with him, and a Tina outside of the cell! How could this be?!
[ BomberJake | "It's attack of the clones!" ]
The Tina outside of the cell hands the officer some bail money and tells him to release BomberJake, which he does. Jake steps out of the cell, looking at this Tina Latina.
[ Tina Latina | "Jake, I was so worried about you! I saw you on 'Americas Most Wanted' and couldn't understand, until I realized--THAT's not Tina Latina!" ]
Tina points at the Tina inside the cell, who cowardly scrunches up. Jake's still doing a double take, trying to figure out who's who.
[ Tina Latina | "That's my twin sister, Twina Latina!" ]
[ Twina Latina | "I was just trying to--" ]
[ Tina Latina | "Can it, Twina!" ]
Tina looks BomberJake deep in his eyes.
[ Tina Latina | "She's always been jealous of me for the guys I hang out with. C'mon--let's go get a burger." ]
[ BomberJake | "Wait--how'd you get the money to bail me out of jail?" ]
[ Tina Latina | "I did a Pepsi Commercial before I met you--they paid me big bucks for that, so I used it here!" ]
Tina smiles and she walks out the door with Jake, hand-in-hand. When they leave the jail, they immediately see BomberJakes golfcart, already fixed from the spike strips!
[ Tina Latina | "I thought I'd use the rest of what I made on a little gift for you." ]
Tina flashes her smile again and BomberJake looks overjoyed--they kiss, but quickly so Jake can reach his golfcart.
[ BomberJake | "Oh, look! Bumper stickers, mud flaps--and you made my hood like an ambulance!" ]
BomberJake looks at the hood of his golfcart, which has his name written backwards so people ahead of them will see his name in their rear-view mirror.
[ Tina Latina | "That's not all--I've been keeping up with all the nonsense you've had to put up with Flame, so I added this on the back. You can take it from here." ]
Jake runs to the back of the golfcart and sees the bumper--the left side of the bumper reads "passing side", and the right side of the bumper reads "suicide".
[ Tina Latina | "Oh, wait, that's a typo." ]
Tina goes over to the left side and peels off the "passing side" sticker, revealing another "suicide" sticker. Jake looks at Tina, nods, then looks at the camera.
[ BomberJake | "Flame… since the tournament, you've tried to surpass me in my greatness in the HWF. You're trying to make a name for yourself here by going after the biggest, baddest dog in the yard and taking his HWF World Heavyweight Title." ]
Jake pats the title, still slung over his shoulder.
[ BomberJake | "But that game will end at Lockdown when I block every which-way you'll try to pass me on. There's no side you can go around, no easy way out, no shortcut you can take to the top--you haven't proven yourself to me, Flame. I went through many, many wrestlers to get to where I am today and there's not a chance in hell you'll reach where I'm at this Thursday, 'cause for you to try and take me down now is SUICIDE." ]
[ Tina Latina | "We'll grab a bite to eat here n' then we'll be back on the road." ]
Jake nods and holds open the door to the sports bar for Tina. They enter and take a seat, noticing a TV with Flame's promos playing.
[ Tina Latina | "Oh, God, can't we go anywhere without seeing his pancake batter face?" ]
[ BomberJake | "I know… he seems to really take this Wicca stuff seriously… power of domination my ass…" ]
They wait for the promo to end, which seems like forever as Flame babbles on and on. As the scene fades, Tina looks at Jake.
[ Tina Latina | "I think I lost my appetite…" ]
[ BomberJake | "The machete bit wasn't that bad, was it?" ]
[ Tina Latina | "No, it's not that… just seeing Flame's ugly smug mug on the TV made me throw up in my mouth a little bit." ]
[ BomberJake | "Ah, we'll get back on the road." ]
Jake turns and looks at his golfcart--he sees a patrol officer standing a few feet away, radioing for a tow-truck.
[ BomberJake | "Hey, we gotta sneak out of here past that cop!" ]
Tina glances over and sees him.
[ Tina Latina | "We'll make our move when he's not looking." ]
Tina and Jake stand up from their table and walk towards the door--they slowly open it and watch the patrol officer. He turns around, writing something on a piece of paper. As he's distracted, BomberJake and Tina Latina run into the golfcart, turn on the ignition, and pull into the street, almost without looking. The officer yells at them, but Jake's already speeding down the street.
[ BomberJake | "I think we can lose him!" ]
Jake dangerously weaves through traffic, making it far from the officer in very little time. It's difficult to see him now as the officer is far back.
[ Tina Latina | "You lost him." ]
BomberJake and Tina enter a quieter district of Las Vegas, with more open road. This allows BomberJake to turn the mounted camera towards him and send another message.
[ BomberJake | "I don't need to hear your life story, Flame. I don't have to listen to your promos about you attempting to murder your own father. I don't need to waste twelve minutes of my life on something I can sum up in five words:" ]
Jake takes one hand off the steering wheel and begins counting the words with his fingers.
[ BomberJake | "'You're… one… sick, twisted motherfucker'! That sums it all up right there!" ]
[ Tina Latina | "Hey! How come you can swear like that?" ]
[ BomberJake | "'cause your lips shouldn't ever be dirty." ]
Jake winks at Tina and continues.
[ BomberJake | "Flame, I know you're upset about Tina and I making your beliefs look like an SNL sketch, but you and your sorry excuse for a religion had it coming when you walked into the shot naked--this is a promo, not a porno! There is no way to gain ring power by having some chick deliver lip service to your penis! What was that ritual for? To give you a set of lips down there? Wait, don't answer that--I have plenty more questions for you." ]
Jake holds a gaze into the camera, but looks back at the road as not to cause an accident.
[ BomberJake | "And so now you're gonna judge my ability based on your apprenticing disciple example? And his new Wiccan name is now Pain? How… original. You came up with that yourself, Flame? Is that how you got your name? I guess so 'cause you can't spell 'Flame' without 'LAME'." ]
Nobody laughs, but Jake doesn't expect anyone to laugh at that.
[ BomberJake | "You see what I did, Flame? You judged me as someone else, so I judged your name. That doesn't hold much merit, now does it? Neither do you, Flame--don't underestimate me! You may've won our match at Trial By Fire, but now you think you've sealed the deal by putting us in this contraption of yours! You think I'm the underdog that doesn't stand a chance! You think I'm the only one that'll be torn by barbed wire and put in seering agony of that salty moat, but you and I took each other to our limits at Trial By Fire! You got the best of me, but don't think that I'm not out to get the best of you! You're talkin' about ending my career like squashing an insect--Flame, I'VE ended careers! Hell, when I joined the OTB, I hit The BOOM on 'Too Good' Tommy Crusher and he's been in the hospital since then! More notably, I single-handedly put out bigger names like Omega and Capsule James, effectively taking the titles they once held in the LAW! And now in the HWF, I'm facing you. I don't intend to end your career, Flame, but if that's what I have to do to win this match, I'll send you to the hospital in a heartbeat! Or maybe I'll give you no chance of living and I'll put you in a hearse that's headed for the morgue! You sound like you're familiar with hearses and morgues." ]
BomberJake stares back into the camera. They're now back in the Nevada desert with nothing but a clear path ahead of them.
[ BomberJake | "It doesn't take a legend to end a career. Some jobber could join up, botch a move, and his opponent could be paralyzed from the neck down. But I won't do that to you at Lockdown, Flame. You may be used to hanging out in prison facilities surrounded by barbed wire and moats, but even though this is a new adventure for me, experience means nothing in this match! I'm smaller, faster, and smarter than you--I can use that cage against you in ways you've never seen! I'm gonna use all of my skill, my talent, and my cunning to attack you in that cage like no one else has!" ]
Behind them, sirens can be heard--Tina turns around and sees several police cars following them, but BomberJake ignores the sounds. He's much too focused on the camera and doesn't even hear Tina tell him to speed up.
[ BomberJake | "I'm undefeated in steel cages, Flame, and if I have to wrap that barbed wire around your neck and choke you as blood pours out of your throat, then so be it! You've unleashed a side of me that is seldom seen or heard… a side that hasn't been used since my days as XCW Hardcore Champion… and it's been escalating since the Hybrid Wrestling Federation started--since I buried Saul Hudsen alive! It's building, it's rising, it's like clockwork, Flame! And there's nothing your Pagan ass can do about it! Come this Thursday, I will drive your face into steel! I will pound your flesh into the mesh! I will pop every blood vessel in your body 'til your eyes are glazed over in a crimson mask! And when I'm done warming up, I'll send you plunging head-first into what will feel like needles piercing through your skin, and you'll wish you never won that tournament! You'll wish you never booked this match! You'll wish you never low-blowed me, and you'll wish that you never met the man they call BomberJake…" ]
Jake falls silent, but keeps the camera rolling. He doesn't say a word and Tina gets worried.
[ Tina Latina | "Jake… hello?" ]
There's still no answer from BomberJake--he just keeps driving down the Nevada desert. The sound of a helicopter is heard and Tina looks out the passengers side. Sure enough, there's a helicopter following them. She turns on the radio and listens to the report.
[ Radio Reporter | "We've just received word that the elusive Bonnie & Clyde couple from yesterday evenings episode of 'Americas Most Wanted' are on the run in the Nevada desert, and the Las Vegas Police Department is hot on their tail!" ]
[ Tina Latina | "Jake! Do something!" ]
Jake doesn't do anything. He just watches the road ahead of him, holding the wheel steady.
[ Tina Latina | "At least say something!" ]
BomberJake doesn't say anything.
[ Tina Latina | "Jake, that helicopter is getting aerial footage of us right now! It's probably being broadcast live all over CNN!" ]
[ BomberJake | "What can we do, Tina?! What the hell can we do?! They've got a helicopter watching us! There's nowhere to run, there's nowhere to hide!" ]
[ Radio Reporter | "We've just learnt that the suspects are HWF World Heavyweight Champion, BomberJake, and his manager, Tina Latina!" ]
[ Tina Latina | "I'm not his manager! I'm his valet!" ]
[ BomberJake | "Either way, they have our identities now!" ]
[ Radio Reporter | "These two are wanted for the murder of one 'Charlie The Cameraman' in Indiana." ]
[ BomberJake | "And they know what we did! They know we're criminals!" ]
BomberJake reaches into the backseat for the HWF World Heavyweight Title--he only takes his eyes off the road for a second, but in that second, they run over a spike strip and the golfcart slows to a stop. Neither of them try to bail out as the cops pull up quickly. Jake turns off the ignition and several officers approach the golfcart slowly. They instruct orders to both Jake and Tina, which are obeyed. Both of them are under arrest for the murder of Charlie, but as they are put into the back of one of the police cars, they look over to see--
[ Tina Latina | "Trainer Chuck?!" ]
[ Trainer Chuck | "That's right--I knew that day at the gym wouldn't be the last time I saw you two!" ]
[ BomberJake | "Why are you here, Chuck?" ]
[ Trainer Chuck | "Because… you killed… my father." ]
Jake leans back with a look of confusion.
[ BomberJake | "But… Charlie never had a son, only three daughters…" ]
[ Trainer Chuck | "He happened to like hookers, okay?!" ]
Jake leans back, accepting the answer but still phased that Charlie had a son.
[ Trainer Chuck | "I hope they lock you two up for good!" ]
And with that, Trainer Chuck walks back to the cop car he came in. Jake looks over at Tina, who looks out the window.
[ Tina Latina | "Some day they’ll go down together
and they’ll lock 'em up side by side.
To few, it’ll be grief,
to the law, a relief,
but it’s the end for Bonnie and Clyde…" ]
The scene fades out from there, but fades in to some time later at the city jail. BomberJake and Tina Latina are both in the same cell, except while Jake is sitting down with the HWF World Heavyweight Title over his shoulder, Tina is pacing back and forth, visibly outraged.
[ Tina Latina | "How could I have forgotten my purse with the money in it?! How?! By now, it's long gone!" ]
Tina keeps pacing, but quiets down a bit. BomberJake has started talking, but not much.
[ BomberJake | "I guess this is it… I guess you can't get away with everything in Sin City…" ]
[ Tina Latina | "Now we'll never make it to the show!" ]
Suddenly, a door opens at the end of the hall and an officer walks in. Someone is walking behind the officer, but that person cannot be seen. The officer claims they have a visitor, and it's… TINA LATINA?!
[ BomberJake | "What the--?!" ]
Jake starts seeing double--he looks at the Tina in the cell with him, and a Tina outside of the cell! How could this be?!
[ BomberJake | "It's attack of the clones!" ]
The Tina outside of the cell hands the officer some bail money and tells him to release BomberJake, which he does. Jake steps out of the cell, looking at this Tina Latina.
[ Tina Latina | "Jake, I was so worried about you! I saw you on 'Americas Most Wanted' and couldn't understand, until I realized--THAT's not Tina Latina!" ]
Tina points at the Tina inside the cell, who cowardly scrunches up. Jake's still doing a double take, trying to figure out who's who.
[ Tina Latina | "That's my twin sister, Twina Latina!" ]
[ Twina Latina | "I was just trying to--" ]
[ Tina Latina | "Can it, Twina!" ]
Tina looks BomberJake deep in his eyes.
[ Tina Latina | "She's always been jealous of me for the guys I hang out with. C'mon--let's go get a burger." ]
[ BomberJake | "Wait--how'd you get the money to bail me out of jail?" ]
[ Tina Latina | "I did a Pepsi Commercial before I met you--they paid me big bucks for that, so I used it here!" ]
Tina smiles and she walks out the door with Jake, hand-in-hand. When they leave the jail, they immediately see BomberJakes golfcart, already fixed from the spike strips!
[ Tina Latina | "I thought I'd use the rest of what I made on a little gift for you." ]
Tina flashes her smile again and BomberJake looks overjoyed--they kiss, but quickly so Jake can reach his golfcart.
[ BomberJake | "Oh, look! Bumper stickers, mud flaps--and you made my hood like an ambulance!" ]
BomberJake looks at the hood of his golfcart, which has his name written backwards so people ahead of them will see his name in their rear-view mirror.
[ Tina Latina | "That's not all--I've been keeping up with all the nonsense you've had to put up with Flame, so I added this on the back. You can take it from here." ]
Jake runs to the back of the golfcart and sees the bumper--the left side of the bumper reads "passing side", and the right side of the bumper reads "suicide".
[ Tina Latina | "Oh, wait, that's a typo." ]
Tina goes over to the left side and peels off the "passing side" sticker, revealing another "suicide" sticker. Jake looks at Tina, nods, then looks at the camera.
[ BomberJake | "Flame… since the tournament, you've tried to surpass me in my greatness in the HWF. You're trying to make a name for yourself here by going after the biggest, baddest dog in the yard and taking his HWF World Heavyweight Title." ]
Jake pats the title, still slung over his shoulder.
[ BomberJake | "But that game will end at Lockdown when I block every which-way you'll try to pass me on. There's no side you can go around, no easy way out, no shortcut you can take to the top--you haven't proven yourself to me, Flame. I went through many, many wrestlers to get to where I am today and there's not a chance in hell you'll reach where I'm at this Thursday, 'cause for you to try and take me down now is SUICIDE." ]
