Post by BomberJake on Aug 15, 2006 13:24:58 GMT -5
Some time after the golfcart chase in the Nevada desert, the scene opens to yet another dimly lit room. Once again, the TV is on, but no one is paying attention to what's on it--no one can be seen. Suddenly, Tina Latina appears in shot, dressed in a loose, dark robe.
[ Tina Latina | "Fellow practicer of the emBOMBing tradition, arise and step foot into the realm of near nakedness." ]
To the right of the screen, BomberJake emerges from the bathroom in the nude, though his lower body is out of shot. This is obviously a mockery of Flame's Wiccan rituals.
[ Tina Latina | "We will now spiritually connect." ]
Tina then unties the robe and drops it to the floor. Both Tina and Jake stand naked, though in a much different mood setting than Flame.
[ Tina Latina | "As you have already completed the 'motorboating' test, you are now to place the palms of your hands on my bosoms and gently grip with your fingers." ]
Jake nods and follows the order, reaching his hands out in front of him and squeezing Tinas breasts.
[ Tina Latina | "Maintain the hold and assume the position as I place the palms of my hands on your… family jewels." ]
As Tina does so, Jake lets out a little yelp.
[ Tina Latina | "I will now romantically kiss you from head to toe, beginning with both cheeks." ]
Tina turns Jakes head to one side and kisses his cheek, then the other.
[ Tina Latina | "The lips." ]
Tina kisses Jake on the lips, sparing no tongue, whatsoever.
[ Tina Latina | "The neck." ]
Tina kisses Jake and begins almost biting his neck.
[ BomberJake | "Ah! A hickey!" ]
[ Tina Latina | "The chest." ]
Tina kisses Jake between his pectoral muscles.
[ Tina Latina | "The nipples." ]
Tina kisses both of Jake's nipples and begins nibbling on the second one.
[ BomberJake | "I'm covered in more love-marks, slag tags, n' tramp stamps than Paris Hilton!" ]
[ Tina Latina | "Quiet! You're ruining the atmosphere!" ]
[ BomberJake | "Sorry." ]
[ Tina Latina | "The stomach." ]
In the process of kissing BomberJakes stomach, Tina gives him a raspberry, 'causing him uncontrollable laughter.
[ Tina Latina | "And my personal favourite, the shaft." ]
Tinas face lights up as she goes down 'til she's off-screen. However, Jake is quick to lift her back up.
[ BomberJake | "Wait a minute--if I'm gonna kiss you later, I don't want to taste my own dick!" ]
[ Tina Latina | "Trust me, I use Listerine." ]
[ BomberJake | "…okay…" ]
Tina goes down again, off-screen for a while. Jake leans back, with his hands behind his head and a vigorous motion going on in the pelvic region. All of a sudden, Tinas face emerges into the shot and Jake looks at her.
[ BomberJake | "What's wrong?" ]
[ Tina Latina | "It's hard… very hard, and we don't have enough time to finish that part of the ritual. We will move on!" ]
[ BomberJake | "Aw…" ]
[ Tina Latina | "Reach into the box!" ]
Jake's eyes widen. He looks left, then right, before extending both hands towards Tinas pie.
[ Tina Latina | "Not my box! The other box!" ]
Jake sighs and looks over at a cardboard box sitting on the bed. He picks it up and puts it on the floor.
[ Tina Latina | "In this box should be three dildos, each one longer than the last! All three represent the traits necessary for success in the Hybrid Wrestling Federation. Pull out the six inch silicone dildo!" ]
BomberJake reaches into the cardboard box and pulls his hand out of it, revealing a six inch silicone dildo.
[ Tina Latina | "Good. Now feed the beaver with the cock of courage! It resembles the honour and bravery of fighting the good fight!" ]
Hesitantly, Jake nears Tinas vaginal area--he looks up at her and she nods. BomberJake proceeds to feed the dildo into Tina, all of this cut off from what's actually shown in the picture.
[ BomberJake | "The beaver's kinda furry." ]
[ Tina Latina | "Shut up!" ]
[ BomberJake | "I'm just sayin'!" ]
[ Tina Latina | "Lord knows you fired the gardener years ago…" ]
[ BomberJake | "But I'm a guy!" ]
Tina rolls her eyes.
[ Tina Latina | "Alright, now bring out the twelve inch latex dildo!" ]
Jake reaches into the cardboard box again and pulls out a foot long latex dildo. As he does this, Tina turns around and bends over.
[ Tina Latina | "Place the cock of strength into my anus! It possesses the power and force to drive you through this intense and exhausting match!" ]
Even more hesitantly, BomberJake takes the twelve inch latex dildo and feeds it through Tinas bum. She almost has a look of agony on her face, but takes a few breaths and stands up straight.
[ Tina Latina | "And lastly, hand me… the cock of DESTINY! Fate has linked you to this match, but fate has also linked you to the HWF World Heavyweight Title! You are destined to stay a champion and a winner!" ]
Jake reaches into the cardboard box and pulls out a twenty-four inch gold plated, jewel encrusted dildo. He hands it to Tina, who tilts her head back and dangles one end over her open mouth. She slowly brings the dildo into her mouth, much like a sword swallower, and almost entirely down her esophagus.
[ BomberJake | "Talk about deep throat! Holy shit!" ]
As the dildo has gone as far down Tinas throat as possible, she pulls it out and puts it back in the cardboard box.
[ Tina Latina | "Remove the cocks!" ]
Jake reaches towards the first cock and removes the six inch silicone cock of courage. Tina then turns around, bends over again, and BomberJake removes the foot long latex cock of strength out from between her cheeks. She remains bent over as Jake places the remaining dildos back into the cardboard box.
[ Tina Latina | "And for your final test, come in through the back door!" ]
Jake looks at Tina, not knowing what she means.
[ Tina Latina | "Stick the potato in the exhaust pipe!" ]
Jake continues to look at Tina with a puzzled look.
[ Tina Latina | "For god's sake, have butt sex with me!" ]
[ BomberJake | "…why?" ]
Tina stands up straight and turn around.
[ Tina Latina | "It's part of this obscure, not-very-religious initiation!" ]
[ BomberJake | "Look, you have a nice ass n' all, but that's a one way road! That department is meant for shipping only, not receiving!" ]
[ Tina Latina | "Well, I guess we've played this joke out long enough." ]
Tina reaches to the floor and pulls the robe that has been at her feet the whole time. She puts it back on while Jake walks to the bathroom to find a pair of pants. Tina picks up the remote control and finds Flames most recent promo. She watches it for about thirty seconds before saying anything.
[ Tina Latina | "Okay… what the FUCK does this have to do with wrestling?!" ]
Jakes head immediately pops out of the bathroom, looking over at Tina Latina.
[ BomberJake | "Tina! Watch your mouth!" ]
[ Tina Latina | "How can you be offended by my dirty mouth? You just watched me go airtight with those dildos." ]
[ BomberJake | "That's nothing I haven't seen before." ]
[ Tina Latina | "Well, I'm sorry, but Flame's promos BARELY mention you! One line about BomberJake, a thousand lines about Wicca, and one other line about Jake--it's ridiculous! Flame may've gained some recognition in the Wicca community, but that means NOTHING to the wrestling community! You don't see those inbreds comin' over here! It's amazing he got this far." ]
Now fully dressed, BomberJake walks out of the bathroom and sits on the bed.
[ BomberJake | "It was beginners luck. No, wait--it wasn't even that! It was sinners luck! He only got this far 'cause he sacked me! Tina, when Flame and I took it to the parking lot before Trial By Fire, I should've pulled the 9 iron outta my golfcart and smacked his face twenty miles out of Detroit! But now I've gotta take it to him and make my own victory--I've gotta have winners luck." ]
[ Tina Latina | "Jake, luck has nothing to do with this--beginners luck, winners luck, sinners luck, it doesn't matter! What matters is you leaving Lockdown STILL HWF World Heavyweight Champion!" ]
[ BomberJake | "Flame seems to think it's his Wiccan duty to get the HWF World Heavyweight Title for pleasing gods n' shit--wrestling isn't a religious duty! And what do gods want with the HWF World Heavyweight Title?! Flame, this whole witchcraft thing is IN YOUR HEAD!" ]
Jake looks at the camera, sending a message to Flame.
[ BomberJake | "You wanna take what is YOURS?! It never was yours to begin with! The only reason you got this far is some jobber didn't show up and you got his spot in the tournament!" ]
[ Tina Latina | "Amen!" ]
[ BomberJake | "And now you go around, talkin' about perfect love, perfect trust, kissy kissy BULLSHIT! She bent down to kiss your boner! She may as well have sucked you off right there!" ]
Tina giggles in the background.
[ BomberJake | "Flame, you've taken our match from Trial By Fire and added a steel structure covered in barbed wire, surrounded by a lake of sodium chloride. But I won't let lightning strike twice! Flame, you're going up in flames, down in flames, and then into the water--the flames will go out in the water, but it'll sting. Your eyes, your mouth, your nose, your newly opened wounds! It'll burn worse than those flames." ]
[ Tina Latina | "And don't think that liquid foundation on your face will hold, honey. You may wear more make-up than Gene Simmons, but when that stuff gets in your eyes, you'll wish you hadn't put it on!" ]
Jake looks over, not sure what to think since Jake's never worn make-up, but looks back at the camera and continues.
[ BomberJake | "So Flame, gimme your best shot n' show me what you've got, 'cause this Thursday, I'll show you something you're not, and that's the HWF World Heavyweight Champion." ]
Jake ends his message there and leans back on the bed.
[ BomberJake | "Now let's watch some TV!" ]
Tina smiles and starts flipping through the channels--she comes across "Americas Most Wanted" ( the TV show, not the TNA tag team ). Both of them are shocked to see striking resemblances of THEMSELVES in a reenactment on the program!
[ Tina Latina | "That's us! Almost!" ]
[ BomberJake | "On 'Americas Most Wanted'?! But I'm Canadian!" ]
[ John Walsh | "We've received a story from a young man who insists to remain anonymous, but he tipped off AMW about a murder in Indiana of a man named Charlie." ]
[ Tina Latina | "Oh my God…" ]
[ John Walsh | "The man claims the murderers are a couple and call themselves a modern day Bonnie & Clyde. Though no definite names can be disclosed, we do have sketches of the suspects. We've also received word that these two frequent wrestling circuits and are known to have managed and held gold more than once." ]
Jake looks over at the HWF World Heavyweight Title sitting on the counter.
[ BomberJake | "I'd better not flaunt that a lot." ]
[ John Walsh | "Be on the lookout for anyone driving a golfcart. We thought we'd found these elusive characters at this country club golf course, but we were wrong." ]
A similar looking couple are shown on a golfcart, driving around and actually playing golf.
[ John Walsh | "Sources say they could easily be following this wrestling circuit from Georgia, Indiana, and Michigan--we are currently trying to obtain surveillance video from both a Detroit impound lot and casino. Currently, they may be in Nevada, but they could also be hiding away in southern California. If you know where these two murderers are, please, call 1-800-CRIME-TV, and I guarantee you can remain anonymous." ]
Tina shuts off the TV, not waiting for the next segment on AMW.
[ Tina Latina | "They're onto us, Jake! We have to get out of here, NOW!" ]
Tina runs into the bathroom to get changed--she runs out in a tank top and shorts, packing her clothes in a gym bag. Jake slowly stands up and picks up the HWF World Heavyweight Title from the counter. He grabs his bag, which is unopened as Jake didn't unpack. He walks towards the door and they hear a knock.
[
| "Open up!" ]
Tina gasps and whispers, "It's the police!". Jake inches towards the door, armed with the HWF World Heavyweight Title in his right hand. Slowly, with his left hand, he turns the doorknob and opens the door, bracing to push it back closed. We soon see that it's not the police. It's a guy from room service.
[ Tina Latina | "Finally! I called for towels an hour ago!" ]
Tina struts over and snatches the towels from the man before shutting the door in his face. She struts back to the bed, putting the towels down. She looks over and sees Jake giving her a weird look.
[ Tina Latina | "…yeah, we should go." ]
Tina then rushes to her bag, packs the last of her things, and they both head out the door. They run around to the side of the hotel and jump into BomberJakes golfcart. Jake steps on the gas and the golfcart bolts out of the lot--the scene fades out to Jake and Tina driving into the sunset, on the run from any and all cops.
Back inside the hotel room, the room service guy returns with more towels to apologize for his poor service. He walks over to see the door wide open--he enters and sees Tinas PURSE sitting on the bed. He opens it--it still has the $36'000.
[ Tina Latina | "Fellow practicer of the emBOMBing tradition, arise and step foot into the realm of near nakedness." ]
To the right of the screen, BomberJake emerges from the bathroom in the nude, though his lower body is out of shot. This is obviously a mockery of Flame's Wiccan rituals.
[ Tina Latina | "We will now spiritually connect." ]
Tina then unties the robe and drops it to the floor. Both Tina and Jake stand naked, though in a much different mood setting than Flame.
[ Tina Latina | "As you have already completed the 'motorboating' test, you are now to place the palms of your hands on my bosoms and gently grip with your fingers." ]
Jake nods and follows the order, reaching his hands out in front of him and squeezing Tinas breasts.
[ Tina Latina | "Maintain the hold and assume the position as I place the palms of my hands on your… family jewels." ]
As Tina does so, Jake lets out a little yelp.
[ Tina Latina | "I will now romantically kiss you from head to toe, beginning with both cheeks." ]
Tina turns Jakes head to one side and kisses his cheek, then the other.
[ Tina Latina | "The lips." ]
Tina kisses Jake on the lips, sparing no tongue, whatsoever.
[ Tina Latina | "The neck." ]
Tina kisses Jake and begins almost biting his neck.
[ BomberJake | "Ah! A hickey!" ]
[ Tina Latina | "The chest." ]
Tina kisses Jake between his pectoral muscles.
[ Tina Latina | "The nipples." ]
Tina kisses both of Jake's nipples and begins nibbling on the second one.
[ BomberJake | "I'm covered in more love-marks, slag tags, n' tramp stamps than Paris Hilton!" ]
[ Tina Latina | "Quiet! You're ruining the atmosphere!" ]
[ BomberJake | "Sorry." ]
[ Tina Latina | "The stomach." ]
In the process of kissing BomberJakes stomach, Tina gives him a raspberry, 'causing him uncontrollable laughter.
[ Tina Latina | "And my personal favourite, the shaft." ]
Tinas face lights up as she goes down 'til she's off-screen. However, Jake is quick to lift her back up.
[ BomberJake | "Wait a minute--if I'm gonna kiss you later, I don't want to taste my own dick!" ]
[ Tina Latina | "Trust me, I use Listerine." ]
[ BomberJake | "…okay…" ]
Tina goes down again, off-screen for a while. Jake leans back, with his hands behind his head and a vigorous motion going on in the pelvic region. All of a sudden, Tinas face emerges into the shot and Jake looks at her.
[ BomberJake | "What's wrong?" ]
[ Tina Latina | "It's hard… very hard, and we don't have enough time to finish that part of the ritual. We will move on!" ]
[ BomberJake | "Aw…" ]
[ Tina Latina | "Reach into the box!" ]
Jake's eyes widen. He looks left, then right, before extending both hands towards Tinas pie.
[ Tina Latina | "Not my box! The other box!" ]
Jake sighs and looks over at a cardboard box sitting on the bed. He picks it up and puts it on the floor.
[ Tina Latina | "In this box should be three dildos, each one longer than the last! All three represent the traits necessary for success in the Hybrid Wrestling Federation. Pull out the six inch silicone dildo!" ]
BomberJake reaches into the cardboard box and pulls his hand out of it, revealing a six inch silicone dildo.
[ Tina Latina | "Good. Now feed the beaver with the cock of courage! It resembles the honour and bravery of fighting the good fight!" ]
Hesitantly, Jake nears Tinas vaginal area--he looks up at her and she nods. BomberJake proceeds to feed the dildo into Tina, all of this cut off from what's actually shown in the picture.
[ BomberJake | "The beaver's kinda furry." ]
[ Tina Latina | "Shut up!" ]
[ BomberJake | "I'm just sayin'!" ]
[ Tina Latina | "Lord knows you fired the gardener years ago…" ]
[ BomberJake | "But I'm a guy!" ]
Tina rolls her eyes.
[ Tina Latina | "Alright, now bring out the twelve inch latex dildo!" ]
Jake reaches into the cardboard box again and pulls out a foot long latex dildo. As he does this, Tina turns around and bends over.
[ Tina Latina | "Place the cock of strength into my anus! It possesses the power and force to drive you through this intense and exhausting match!" ]
Even more hesitantly, BomberJake takes the twelve inch latex dildo and feeds it through Tinas bum. She almost has a look of agony on her face, but takes a few breaths and stands up straight.
[ Tina Latina | "And lastly, hand me… the cock of DESTINY! Fate has linked you to this match, but fate has also linked you to the HWF World Heavyweight Title! You are destined to stay a champion and a winner!" ]
Jake reaches into the cardboard box and pulls out a twenty-four inch gold plated, jewel encrusted dildo. He hands it to Tina, who tilts her head back and dangles one end over her open mouth. She slowly brings the dildo into her mouth, much like a sword swallower, and almost entirely down her esophagus.
[ BomberJake | "Talk about deep throat! Holy shit!" ]
As the dildo has gone as far down Tinas throat as possible, she pulls it out and puts it back in the cardboard box.
[ Tina Latina | "Remove the cocks!" ]
Jake reaches towards the first cock and removes the six inch silicone cock of courage. Tina then turns around, bends over again, and BomberJake removes the foot long latex cock of strength out from between her cheeks. She remains bent over as Jake places the remaining dildos back into the cardboard box.
[ Tina Latina | "And for your final test, come in through the back door!" ]
Jake looks at Tina, not knowing what she means.
[ Tina Latina | "Stick the potato in the exhaust pipe!" ]
Jake continues to look at Tina with a puzzled look.
[ Tina Latina | "For god's sake, have butt sex with me!" ]
[ BomberJake | "…why?" ]
Tina stands up straight and turn around.
[ Tina Latina | "It's part of this obscure, not-very-religious initiation!" ]
[ BomberJake | "Look, you have a nice ass n' all, but that's a one way road! That department is meant for shipping only, not receiving!" ]
[ Tina Latina | "Well, I guess we've played this joke out long enough." ]
Tina reaches to the floor and pulls the robe that has been at her feet the whole time. She puts it back on while Jake walks to the bathroom to find a pair of pants. Tina picks up the remote control and finds Flames most recent promo. She watches it for about thirty seconds before saying anything.
[ Tina Latina | "Okay… what the FUCK does this have to do with wrestling?!" ]
Jakes head immediately pops out of the bathroom, looking over at Tina Latina.
[ BomberJake | "Tina! Watch your mouth!" ]
[ Tina Latina | "How can you be offended by my dirty mouth? You just watched me go airtight with those dildos." ]
[ BomberJake | "That's nothing I haven't seen before." ]
[ Tina Latina | "Well, I'm sorry, but Flame's promos BARELY mention you! One line about BomberJake, a thousand lines about Wicca, and one other line about Jake--it's ridiculous! Flame may've gained some recognition in the Wicca community, but that means NOTHING to the wrestling community! You don't see those inbreds comin' over here! It's amazing he got this far." ]
Now fully dressed, BomberJake walks out of the bathroom and sits on the bed.
[ BomberJake | "It was beginners luck. No, wait--it wasn't even that! It was sinners luck! He only got this far 'cause he sacked me! Tina, when Flame and I took it to the parking lot before Trial By Fire, I should've pulled the 9 iron outta my golfcart and smacked his face twenty miles out of Detroit! But now I've gotta take it to him and make my own victory--I've gotta have winners luck." ]
[ Tina Latina | "Jake, luck has nothing to do with this--beginners luck, winners luck, sinners luck, it doesn't matter! What matters is you leaving Lockdown STILL HWF World Heavyweight Champion!" ]
[ BomberJake | "Flame seems to think it's his Wiccan duty to get the HWF World Heavyweight Title for pleasing gods n' shit--wrestling isn't a religious duty! And what do gods want with the HWF World Heavyweight Title?! Flame, this whole witchcraft thing is IN YOUR HEAD!" ]
Jake looks at the camera, sending a message to Flame.
[ BomberJake | "You wanna take what is YOURS?! It never was yours to begin with! The only reason you got this far is some jobber didn't show up and you got his spot in the tournament!" ]
[ Tina Latina | "Amen!" ]
[ BomberJake | "And now you go around, talkin' about perfect love, perfect trust, kissy kissy BULLSHIT! She bent down to kiss your boner! She may as well have sucked you off right there!" ]
Tina giggles in the background.
[ BomberJake | "Flame, you've taken our match from Trial By Fire and added a steel structure covered in barbed wire, surrounded by a lake of sodium chloride. But I won't let lightning strike twice! Flame, you're going up in flames, down in flames, and then into the water--the flames will go out in the water, but it'll sting. Your eyes, your mouth, your nose, your newly opened wounds! It'll burn worse than those flames." ]
[ Tina Latina | "And don't think that liquid foundation on your face will hold, honey. You may wear more make-up than Gene Simmons, but when that stuff gets in your eyes, you'll wish you hadn't put it on!" ]
Jake looks over, not sure what to think since Jake's never worn make-up, but looks back at the camera and continues.
[ BomberJake | "So Flame, gimme your best shot n' show me what you've got, 'cause this Thursday, I'll show you something you're not, and that's the HWF World Heavyweight Champion." ]
Jake ends his message there and leans back on the bed.
[ BomberJake | "Now let's watch some TV!" ]
Tina smiles and starts flipping through the channels--she comes across "Americas Most Wanted" ( the TV show, not the TNA tag team ). Both of them are shocked to see striking resemblances of THEMSELVES in a reenactment on the program!
[ Tina Latina | "That's us! Almost!" ]
[ BomberJake | "On 'Americas Most Wanted'?! But I'm Canadian!" ]
[ John Walsh | "We've received a story from a young man who insists to remain anonymous, but he tipped off AMW about a murder in Indiana of a man named Charlie." ]
[ Tina Latina | "Oh my God…" ]
[ John Walsh | "The man claims the murderers are a couple and call themselves a modern day Bonnie & Clyde. Though no definite names can be disclosed, we do have sketches of the suspects. We've also received word that these two frequent wrestling circuits and are known to have managed and held gold more than once." ]
Jake looks over at the HWF World Heavyweight Title sitting on the counter.
[ BomberJake | "I'd better not flaunt that a lot." ]
[ John Walsh | "Be on the lookout for anyone driving a golfcart. We thought we'd found these elusive characters at this country club golf course, but we were wrong." ]
A similar looking couple are shown on a golfcart, driving around and actually playing golf.
[ John Walsh | "Sources say they could easily be following this wrestling circuit from Georgia, Indiana, and Michigan--we are currently trying to obtain surveillance video from both a Detroit impound lot and casino. Currently, they may be in Nevada, but they could also be hiding away in southern California. If you know where these two murderers are, please, call 1-800-CRIME-TV, and I guarantee you can remain anonymous." ]
Tina shuts off the TV, not waiting for the next segment on AMW.
[ Tina Latina | "They're onto us, Jake! We have to get out of here, NOW!" ]
Tina runs into the bathroom to get changed--she runs out in a tank top and shorts, packing her clothes in a gym bag. Jake slowly stands up and picks up the HWF World Heavyweight Title from the counter. He grabs his bag, which is unopened as Jake didn't unpack. He walks towards the door and they hear a knock.
[
| "Open up!" ]Tina gasps and whispers, "It's the police!". Jake inches towards the door, armed with the HWF World Heavyweight Title in his right hand. Slowly, with his left hand, he turns the doorknob and opens the door, bracing to push it back closed. We soon see that it's not the police. It's a guy from room service.
[ Tina Latina | "Finally! I called for towels an hour ago!" ]
Tina struts over and snatches the towels from the man before shutting the door in his face. She struts back to the bed, putting the towels down. She looks over and sees Jake giving her a weird look.
[ Tina Latina | "…yeah, we should go." ]
Tina then rushes to her bag, packs the last of her things, and they both head out the door. They run around to the side of the hotel and jump into BomberJakes golfcart. Jake steps on the gas and the golfcart bolts out of the lot--the scene fades out to Jake and Tina driving into the sunset, on the run from any and all cops.
Back inside the hotel room, the room service guy returns with more towels to apologize for his poor service. He walks over to see the door wide open--he enters and sees Tinas PURSE sitting on the bed. He opens it--it still has the $36'000.
